Tuesday, September 12, 2006

You've got.... a common cold???

common cold (n): a respiratory disorder characterized by sneezing, sore throat, coughing, etc., caused by an allergic reaction or by a viral, bacterial, or mixed infection.

Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.0.1)

In my opinion, the common cold is the stupidest and most irritating of all ailments to be suffering from. It's never debilitating enough to render you totally immobile and senseless, but at the same time it seriously crimps your ability to do anything meaningful or worthwhile. In a nutshell, it's an ailment with probably the highest nuisance value. It's also an ailment that the rest of the world never takes seriously enough. (You, of course take it seriously because you're suffering from it). If you tell people you're suffering from say measles, they're most likely to respond with "Ohhh... I'm sorry to hear that. Hope you feel all better soon.." or some other words to that effect before beating a very hasty retreat. But if you tell someone you're suffering from cold, the only reaction (if you get any reaction at all) is, "Hmmm... but that's what you had said last week...". This despite the fact that a common cold is more physically taxing than measles and you could really do without the smart-aleck statements of sarcastic disbelief.

As is clearly evident from my rant, I have some serious and unresolved issues with common cold. That's because lately I seem to have become a magnet for the common cold virus.. it's as if there's a huge flashing neon light above my head saying, "Common cold virus reunion party here. Season tickets available. Rush to make your reservations today!!!" I wonder if my immune system even recognizes that the common cold virus is something it ought to be dealing with. I'm guessing here's how a typical interaction between my immune system and the common cold virus goes:

Antibody: Halt!! Who goes there?
Common cold virus [in an Armani suit and dark shades]: Err... it's me, Jake, from the Central Nervous System..
AB: Oh... Ok. I thought you were a virus or something, man... the black coat and stuff, you know..
CCV: Ya. I get that a lot, dude. I really should change my wardrobe...
AB: Btw, cool shades..
CCV: Thanks... I bought them at the new mall by the pulmonary artery. There's a discount sale on at the moment.
AB: I guess I should get me one of 'em cool shades, now that there's a sale and all..
CCV: Ya, they'd go well with your outfit, dude...
AB: Really...
CCV: Oh absolutely... Er, listen, I got a favor to ask, dude...
AB: Sure... anything for you, man.
CCV: Could you give me a Z-class security pass. It would be a drag if I kept getting pulled over just because of my appearance. I got some priority business to attend to for the high command.
AB: Here's a Z++ class security clearance. This should get you by all security check points.
CCV: Thanks pal... Hey, maybe I can put in a good word for you at the top.. you know, get you off the streets and into a plum desk job...
AB: That's really very kind of you. This job is really stressful for someone of my age. As a matter of fact we've just had an announcement to be on the lookout for a suspected common cold virus. I'm too old for this kind of thing...
CCV: I totally understand. And if I should come across the virus, you'll be the first to know..
AB: We need more citizens like you, sir..
CCV: Just happy to do my duty.. Hey, I got to run now. Thanks for everything and have a great day..
AB: You have a good one too....

Yeah, I know... totally duh-uh. But that's the only explanation I got. Looks like my immune system has got used to the good life and what it really needs is a kick in the behind. In fact, during my last struggle with the scourge of common cold, I stayed away from medication of any kind. About time my immune system started earning its pay and stopped relying on external reinforcements to do its job, I say... until later... cheers.. 8-)


5 Comments:

At 11:50 AM , Anonymous Vin said...

Hilarious. Keep them coming.
And Get well soon...

 
At 2:42 AM , Blogger Kaushik said...

Try self-hypnotism techniques. Like NLP. For instance, close your eyes tight, and encourage your ABs "Fight dudes! Come on now, u can do it! Fight! Kick the suckers out of there!" And imagine the virus fighting a losing battle. Watching Lord of the Rings III or ID4 helps.

I do this every time I get sick!

 
At 4:07 AM , Blogger Pushuka said...

[Vin]: Thanks!! And I'm not suffering from a cold at the moment. As mentioned in my post, a cold would keep me from doing anything worthwhile.. including blogging.. :)

[Kaushik]: You know, you just might have something there. I'll try your suggestion out the next time I'm down with a cold..

 
At 11:14 AM , Anonymous shilpa said...

I totally agree with you...nobody sympathizes with me when I get common cold :(. Hope more and more people read this post and learn something :D.

 
At 2:22 AM , Blogger Pushuka said...

[Shilpa]: Hey.. great to see you here. And I'm glad you agree with my assessment. People need to start being a little more sympathetic to folks suffering from cold.. :)

 

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