Thursday, May 10, 2007

Man of the Month...

Author's note: The man of the month (MoM) award is handed out to an in-duh-vidual who, through acts of incredible and mind-numbing stupidity, has managed to "shock and awe" us... in other words, managed to both amuse and amaze us. Gender equality campaigners, Women's rights organizations and the like, please take note: The MoM award is gender agnostic and the word "man" in the award title is purely incidental...

This month's MoM award goes to... (wait for it)... (wait for it)... Mr. Paul "The Wolf" Wolfozitz. If you're hearing this name for the first time, please contact me so I can include your name in the short-list for next month's MoM award. I know most of you were expecting to hear me announce the all-time leading MoM award winner and MoM hall of fame inductee, George "Dubya" Bush to win the award this time around too. And to be fair to GWB, he did put up a very strong case, but the Wolf, by sheer dint of stupidity left Dubya trailing in his wake. Way to go Wolf....

Now for a bit of explanation on how exactly the Wolf got around to winning the award... The Wolf was instrumental in getting the US involved in Iraq and so, to an extent, is responsible for all the aggravation that has followed since. But we don't even need to go that far back to get to the actions that won him the MoM award...

In January 2005, the Wolf was nominated to the position of President of the World Bank by none other than apna Dubya. The WB is a complex body governed by a set of convoluted and byzantine rules. The US is a majority stake holder in the bank and has had the privilege of nominating the president of the bank since its creation. The Wolf, never one to shy away from straight-shooting, announced grandiosely that he would make fighting the corruption and bureaucracy endemic to the organization his priority. So far so good.... Many months pass and the Wolf is busy ruffling feathers in his "War on Corruption" when suddenly, and quite out of the blue, it emerges that the Wolf had used his position as the president of the World Bank to authorize promotions and generous pay hikes to his girl-friend!! What the... It's one thing for you and I (grass root level ignoramuses) to show favoritism but for the president of the World Bank to do some like that !!! What was the man smoking, I wonder... and all this after he had declared a very public war on corruption. Talk about putting one's foot in his mouth!!! Wolf, take a bow dude, you truly deserve the award...

So, there you have it.. The whole story behind the Wolf's winning this month's MoM award. The Wolf beat several deserving candidates to the award. The illustrious short-list includes multi-MoM winner Dubya, serial-nominee Paris Hilton, Dr. Robert Mugabe, the Indian cricket team and Thomas Uva. Well, nominations for next month's MoM are now open. So, send in your nominations today and win exciting prizes!!! until later... cheers... 8-)

12 Comments:

At 8:10 AM , Blogger Vin said...

Yummyily hilarious. Keep 'em coming.
I would nominate Greg Chapel for the next month's MoM for his inane 'SMS sending business about senior players' in public, Ruining a 2nd best looking team to take it to the 2nd from the bottom and many more such heinous crimes(?) against a cricket playing nation.

 
At 3:35 PM , Blogger Saumil Merchant said...

Not only was Mr. Wolf involved in the decision making process behind Iraq invasion. He was the original author of "preemptive" US foreign policy. the guy tried to get his way back in 1992-93 post the first gulf war. Obviously his ideas were shot down back then by more sensible bunch of GOP leaders. Anyways, about this particular WB issue, I am not sure if he has committed a death crime for which he is being hanged. His current situation was probably expected, being a conservative presiding a mostly liberal organization and to top it all go after cleaning corruption.

 
At 11:52 PM , Blogger Pushuka said...

@Vin: Thanks!! And ya, Greg deserves atleast a nomination solely for the SMS business. More than stupidity, it is the sheer pettiness of it all...

@Saumil: A pleasant surprise to see you here. And do keep blogging on a regular basis. I guess everyone is joining the party engaged in the public flogging of Mr Wolf, but then as the old saying goes, "People Who Live In Glass Houses Should Not Throw Stones".. And the Wolf threw one too many stones.. A case of good intentions undone by injudiciousness of actions, you could say...

 
At 3:09 AM , Blogger Kaushik said...

Wow...back to your best, dude! Among other things, excellent definitions of the World Bank and the US. You should post your views on external affairs more often!

Paris Hilton and the Indian cricket team...should probably get the lifetime award for their unwavering devotion to the cause!

 
At 9:07 PM , Blogger Pushuka said...

Thanks Kaushik... and good to see you're back too!! :)

 
At 5:45 AM , Blogger the Monk said...

I don't know...I mean, Dubya did nominate the Wolf...doesn't that make him a little ahead in the race for the prize? But, all said, the Wolf certainly is a deserving winner...

 
At 3:48 AM , Blogger Pushuka said...

Good to see you again, dude. And Bush would have won the award, but the committee decided to pass on Bush in favor of a newbie.. :)

 
At 11:36 AM , Blogger Ats said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

 
At 11:38 AM , Blogger Ats said...

Hi,

Absolutely hilaroius, dude.. Great style.. You're a new addition to my fav list..

Cheers
Ats

 
At 1:26 AM , Blogger Harish said...

Superb! Hilarious!

You have done a great job in selecting Wolf for this award. I am sure it would have been really tough job though with so many strong contenders.

This month's award should go to BCCI for the now infamous 'Ford fiasco'.

 
At 7:08 AM , Blogger Pushuka said...

@Ats: Thanks!! Glad I could entertain. :)

@Harish: Thanks dude. And the BCCI should get a lifetime Foot-In-The-Mouth award. They've quite made a habit of making a hash of things, haven't they?

 
At 9:20 PM , Blogger Supernova said...

lolz:D super funny dat was.
In ur resident nominations list, u can put up Amar Sign n mulayam singh yadav duo. classic ppl dey both r.

 

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